Why Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Let's talk about the connection (or rather the disconnection) between actions and words.

I.

With most people, there is a massive disconnect — they say they want X, but then they continue to do Y.

They will say, "I want to lose my love handles," but then continue to order take-out food.

They will say, "I want to find love," but then won't put themselves out there and talk to people.

They will say, "I want to quit my 9 to 5," but then watch Netflix in the evenings instead of working on their side hustle.

It doesn't matter what you say you want. Talk is cheap. The only thing that counts is what you do.

II.

The first law of personal change — you become what you repeatedly do.

If you start practicing the guitar today for 3–4 hours each day, 10–15 years from now, you will be a professional musician.

If you start training in BJJ today and show up to class every day, 7–10 years from now, you will be a black belt.

If you start a content creation business today, e.g., a blog or a YouTube Channel, and spend 4–6 hours on it every day, in 2–3 years, it will pay the bills.

There is no uncertainty here. Do the thing, and you become the thing. It's as sure as death and taxes.

III.

Do you want to know what the rest of your life will look like?

Think about your day yesterday. What you did. What activities you spent the most time on. What you ate. What physical activities you engaged in. Whom you had contact with.

Now multiply this by 10 years.

So, if you went to your 9 to 5 yesterday, had Wendy's for lunch, had yet another argument with your partner, and otherwise didn't move all day, guess what? In 10 years from now, you will be sick and depressed.

Vice versa, if you brought your own healthy food, spent two hours after work on your side hustle, did a 20-minute workout, and talked to that attractive stranger, guess what? In 10 years from now, you will be thriving.

IV.

How do you get yourself to execute on the right actions?

First, you need to identify your core activities. For, example I run a blog which I monetize via coaching. I really have only two core tasks. 1) Write new content. 2) Communicate with my coaching clients. That's it.

You need that extreme level of focus. You need to do fewer things but do them every day without fail for the rest of your life. Stop jumping around.

Second, you need to start small. Self-discipline works like a muscle. Provide the right amount of stimulus, and it will expand. Overtax it, and it will stop working.

When I started working on my blog, my only rule was to write as little as one sentence per day. Many days, that is actually what I did. I simply couldn't bring myself to do more.

Now I write a new 3500-word article every week, plus a long newsletter, plus various pieces for digital PR campaigns. I write for several hours each day. How did that happen? By very gradually training my willpower to take on bigger workloads.

Third, find someone to hold you accountable. Every day, report to your accountability buddy (or your accountability coach) what you achieved that day. Over time, it will make a massive difference. You will stick with your core activities and build that willpower muscle. And eventually, you will accomplish your big goal.

It's all in the actions.

I am still in Thailand. Had a friend visiting on the weekend, and we took a day trip to a small island called Koh Lan — white, fine sand beaches and the clearest blue water I have ever seen. I had half a mind to stay there. But bad Wifi, unfortunately. And a few too many tourists. So, my quest for the perfect beach continues.

Until next week,

Niels