My Recent Drama and How I Almost Lost It

I had quite a bit of drama recently (I will tell you in a second what happened). My reaction in the past would have been to get angry at the world.

It was a close call this time — I certainly felt defeated — but eventually, I caught myself. Not because I am so mature, but because I now have certain strategies in place to prevent me from getting angry.

I'll detail them and maybe they will help you too.

Also, my newest video is about this very topic: How To Never Get Angry Again

Check it out and leave a like!

I.

My first drama relates to my coaching business. Over the last 2 years, I painstakingly built up the traffic to my coaching website. On average, I spent 15–20 hours each week to produce fresh, original content. I never used AI. Zero. I shared my personal experiences. I made the articles easy to read and navigate.

I did all the things that Google says they want publishers to do. And Google was in fact rewarding me. I steadily got more traffic and more inquiries from coaching clients. Yet, during the last Google update, I got hit. I lost a lot of traffic and I keep losing traffic.

Many other small sites got hit as well, and even worse than mine. Yet, bigger publishers putting out pretty average content often saw a boost in traffic.

A lot of people have suggested that this is no coincidence. Google is getting more into generative AI and potentially facing lawsuits from big publishers for copyright infringement.

So what does Google do? They send more traffic to the big publishers to pacify them and they take it away from the small publishers.

This was my first grievance. 2 years of work down the drain. It was a hard bullet to bite.

II.

But it got worse. I still do some agency work, and surprisingly, even though I do zero marketing for that, it picked up a lot recently. Which was good timing because of the Google fiasco. I even had to hire three new writers.

I carefully selected these writers. I checked their portfolios and references. I talked to them. I made them sign contracts stating that they can't use any generative AI to write these articles. I paid them well, too.

Yet, two out of these three writers turned in AI-generated articles. When confronted, one right away admitted it. The other one is still making excuses, but it's clear as day.

This triggered me even more than the Google thing. I suspect it is because Google is this abstract entity, but here, I am dealing with individuals trying to screw me over. In the past, this would have me foaming at the mouth with rage.

III.

I got close to indulging in my anger — but I didn't.

That's not because I am so great, but because I have certain systems in place. These systems save me from getting hung up on things that I cannot change.

The most important one is that I have a group of very smart people that I contact when something like this happens. This includes my ex-girlfriend, my accountability partner, my brother, my best friend, and a few more people.

All of these people are not prone to hate. They are pragmatists. They accept the world for what it is. They keep a cool head. And, most importantly — they are all solution-oriented.

When I feel extreme anger coming on, I just call the first person on the list. This already helps. When the next wave of anger hits, I call the next person on the list. I keep doing this for 3–4 days, constantly talking to smart, calm, pragmatic people, and in the process, I can't help but quiet down again.

You need to cultivate this anti-anger network. You need to collect and cherish these people; and of course, you need to be there for them as well.

IV.

My next strategy is a mental model which I refer to as the "beginning of time" rule. I also talk about this in the aforementioned video. Essentially, there is no point in getting upset about others. People acting stupid is a given. It has been going on since the beginning of time and it will keep going on until it all ends.

Someone trying to cheat you for money? It's been going on since the beginning of time.

Someone abusing their power? It's been going on since the beginning of time.

Someone lying to you? It's been going on since the beginning of time.

These things must happen. They are part of the game. Getting upset about them is as useful as getting upset about the weather. You plan for the weather and pack an umbrella. Likewise, you must plan for these grievances.

V.

Final strategy for today. Once you have calmed down a bit, analyze your mistakes and learn from them. Own them.

For example, I knew that I should have diversified my traffic. Content businesses are very predictable in a sense — create enough quality content, and you will get customers. But it's just as predictable that platforms change their algorithms every couple of years. I knew that. Yet, I didn't prepare for it. The only person I should be angry with is myself.

With the writers, the same thing. Writing is hard and most people are lazy. So, most people, including professional writers, will choose the shortcut. There is nothing surprising about this. What I should have done is to force them to write the article in the same Google Docs document. This way, by looking at the version history, there is no debate. You can see if someone copied & pasted from ChatGPT straight away.

But did I think about this solution beforehand? No. So, who is to blame? Me. And what is my job now? To implement these changes.

Every crisis is really a chance. If you don't get carried away by your anger and pain, but learn from it, you will emerge stronger than before. If I implement the things I just talked about, I will have a more stable business and potentially earn more. My life will be better.

As Ryan Holiday likes to put it — the obstacle is the way. You should almost be excited when you feel a good conflict or crisis coming on. It means growth is around the corner.

Okay, done. Writing this down felt good, too (this is actually another strategy). Again, if you like my pretty face, check out my YouTube video with more ideas.

And if you feel like sharing, let me know about your current triggers. I'll read it and send you a few encouraging words :)

Until next week,

Niels