3 Unusual Ideas About Relationships

Here are 3 ideas about relationships that have been on my mind lately.

I.

We have way too high hopes when it comes to choosing our romantic partners.

What we expect this other person to do is fix our lives. The void we feel inside will soon be replaced with happiness. Or so we hope.

But the other person is just as imperfect as we are. They are running from their own void.

Put two of these people together, and, after some initial sexual fireworks, disillusionment will set in.

As the other person is failing to make us happy, we set to fixing "their" shortcomings. Of course, that never works.

So, we break up. We try anew. The cycle keeps repeating itself until we settle for drowning our hopes in alcohol or getting a cat.

Or, worst of all, we decide that's just how it's going to be and get married anyways.

II.

The problem is not with everybody else. The problem is with us.

We are not addressing certain deficiencies in ourselves.

What these exact deficiencies are depends on the person. But usually, it comes down to a combination of fear and short-term thinking.

For example, we might be too afraid to leave our soul-crushing 9 to 5 and commit to writing that fantasy novel we always wanted to write --> fear.

Also, whenever we sit down to write, we soon become intimidated by the vastness of the task. "This will take years!" So, we stop and do something that is fun in the moment --> short-term thinking.

By giving into fear and short-term thinking at every important turn, we create lives that aren't very fulfilling.

And that's when we start looking to external saviors, like the people we date.

III.

You fix your relationships by fixing yourself.

The big 3 are:

Fix your job. Your job is the single activity that you spend the most time on. If you despise your work (and most people do), it will show. But if you become someone who can't get enough of their job — if you truly burn for it — it will make you incredibly attractive.

Fix your body. Being lean and muscular is our natural state of being — eating processed foods and hardly moving our bodies is not. Get aesthetically pleasing to yourself and you will be aesthetically pleasing to others; even more so in a world where most people have given up on their natural attractiveness.

Fix your mindset. Most people we encounter live their lives on autopilot. They do whatever the people around them do. If you take the time to discover what values you stand for, and then put these values into practice, you will get rewarded for standing out. Attractive people will flock to you.

This is not as daunting of a task as it might seem. Every little improvement in these three areas will increase your sexual market value a little bit.

Also, while fixing yourself is hard work, it is at the same time highly enjoyable. When you experience yourself as capable, it will create an immense sense of accomplishment.

That, in the end, will do more for filling the void inside than finding a great partner (as brilliant as that will be).

Do you agree? Completely disagree? Let me know! I love hearing from subscribers and reply to every message.

Until next week,

Niels