3 Uncommon Ideas About Sex
Here are 3 uncommon ideas about sex. Enjoy!
I.
Sex is the driving force behind our economy.
Take away sex, and most startups would disappear overnight.
Whenever someone starts a business, at the back of their mind, there is this idea, "If I make it big, I will get laid left and right," (rich friends tell me they are right).
Take away sex, and the fashion and the make-up industries would collapse.
The sole reason we are so concerned with improving our looks is sexual self-marketing. We are paying thousands of dollars each year so that we get noticed by potential mates.
Take away sex, and the fitness industry would vanish from the face of the world.
We don't go to the gym to get healthy. We go to the gym to look good naked. If there was no sex, we would happily gorge ourselves to death.
Clubs and restaurants would have to close, as we wouldn't have to meet and woe our dates. We would travel less, as there would be no hope of hooking up with exotic strangers. We would buy zero status symbols like expensive cars or fancy watches. No more buying gifts either.
It just goes on.
We talk about the "sex industry" (porn, strip clubs, sex shops) as if it was a separate entity. But the truth is — there is no other industry but the sex industry.
II.
Even though sex is constantly on our minds, we downplay, euphemize, and sanitize it.
Movies are a great example of this. The same process — the establishment of a sexual relationship — is split up over two entirely different movie genres. Rom-coms are "cute" and "adorable," porn is "degrading" and "disgusting."
Or take a cultural institution like cheerleading. Conservative parents are eager to see their adolescent children in uniforms that are as revealing as most stripper uniforms. But because it ostensibly relates to football, that's okay.
Our language is reflective of this hypocrisy, too. We speak of "romantic" partners instead of "sexual" partners, even though there is never any romance unless there is sexual desire first.
Even while writing this newsletter, I am constantly weighing what I can say, whom I might offend, etc.
It is ridiculous what a big deal we make of rubbing our genitalia together.
It should be noted that this is mainly a problem in the heterosexual world. In the gay world, there are fewer such sensitivities. People just call it what it is.
III.
Don't buy into naive notions like "finding your soulmate." Be strategic and take charge of your sexual happiness.
It's not that complicated — we all want more and better sex.
The limiting factor is options. How many potential mates do you have access to? And what is the quality of these mates?
The solution is to learn how to talk to attractive strangers in real life — at the bar, at the supermarket, on the subway.
By talking to potential mates in person, you can right away tell if there is a sexual spark. No more wasting hours on Tinder only to discover that this person does nothing for you on the first date.
Also, you can show off qualities in real life that you can't do online. If you are charming, this will tip the balance in your favor. But on Tinder, you are just your jawline or your boobs.
Granted, talking to strangers in real life is hard.
For men, that's for fear of rejection. They would rather die in a war than be rejected by a beautiful woman.
For women, it's because of gender roles (and convenience). "I want him to make the first move."
Both notions are not productive.
Desensitize yourself to your fear and your social programming, respectively. Do so by starting small.
For example, give a quick compliment to a stranger each day, then leave. After a while, start asking a follow-up question, to keep the interaction going. Once that works, throw in a little tease, to spark things up.
I have seen both men and women go through this process and it changed their worlds.
Would you like me to talk about sex more often? Or do you prefer other topics for this newsletter? Let me know! I love to hear from subscribers and reply to every message.
Until next week,
Niels